The Hedons
Follow @AlienPortraits on Instagram for a weekly-ish story of a new alien species + ten synthographic portraits.
Medium: Midjourney AI + Lightroom + Procreate
It doesn’t matter how much fun you’re having, the Hedons are always having more fun than you.
Human nervous systems evolved to reward and punish certain behaviors: we reproduce because it’s fun, and we avoid burning ourselves because it hurts.
But Hedons evolved in an environment with very little danger. Their dominance on the food chain was unchallenged, natural disasters rare, and poisons and pathogens virtually nonexistent. Their natural regenerative ability makes them resilient to physical injury: chop off most body parts and they’ll grow right back.
So, life is easy for the Hedons. And because of this, their nervous systems evolved to be all carrot, no stick.
Even the most ecstatic human experiences pale in comparison to the thrill a Hedon feels from mundane activities, like drinking water or breathing. While comparing the subjective experiences of different species is difficult, the Hedonian capacity for pleasure is said to be hundreds (if not thousands) of times more pronounced than that of the average human.
The closest thing to pain that a Hedon experiences is the absence of pleasure, so their entire society has been built around avoiding this. The variety of music, food, scents, art, libations, drugs, festivals, lightshows, extreme sports, intimate positions, dance steps, massage styles (and many other activities we don’t yet have names for) is truly mind-boggling. But the most famous of all Hedonian pleasures is their comedy.
Every Hedon is a comedic genius. In the course of a normal conversation, the Hedon brain is, like a master chess player or freestyle rapper, thinking ten steps ahead, setting up dozens of little setup jokes in preparation for a devastating punchline. Hedonian social gatherings play out like they were scripted by a writer’s room filled with the greatest comedic minds from all of human history.
Interacting with Hedons can be unsettling, as you may wonder if they’re extremely high, or if they’re just laughing at you. Both are likely true, but try not to take it personally. We really are quite dull by comparison.
More Alien Portraits
